Your tits are I can't wait for
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
