Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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