I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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