my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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