i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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