we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
