yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
