Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
