Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
