I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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