i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
