I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
