Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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