It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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