At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
