was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
