I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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