people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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