She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
