But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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