i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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