What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
