i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
