Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
