ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
