I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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