you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
