MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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