She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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