that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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