i may or may not be watching the land before time
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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