she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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