White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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