this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
