Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
