Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
