Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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