She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
