So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
