elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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