it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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