No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize