I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
