No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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