dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i think i scared a bird with my dick
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
