i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
