How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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