You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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