Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize