I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
