Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
