he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
