how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
