He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
