I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He kissed a someone with a penis
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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