The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
