Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
