KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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