It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
